Behind The Scenes At A Wedding

As photographers, we usually try to stay BEHIND the camera. Like a lot of people, we'll shy away from being photographed.

Especially during a wedding, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves and we certainly don't want to become the focus of the photography.

And during a wedding, we are usually concentrating so much on the details, activity and excitement of the big day for our bride and groom, we barely have time to notice what each other are doing.

Luckily, we don't have to. That is a perk of working together for so long- we already know what the other is probably doing so we don't have to give it any thought.

So, once in a while, as I'm editing a session or a wedding, I'll find extra images. Ones where we were hesitating with composing our own shots long enough to catch the other one of us composing their shots. (But I always, always edit them out...)

First Day Of School: The End Of My Littles

Today marks a very big day at our house. Our youngest has started kindergarten.  For the first time in forever, I no longer have a Little at home. I'm now the mother to only Big Kids. And I would be lying if I said I didn't cry.

People who don't understand--other parents even--say, "He's ready," and "He'll do fine!"

And I know this. But that is not the point today.

Yes, he is ready. Yes, he will do fine. He can read at almost the same level as his older brother. He is a social kid who loves to be around other kids. He loves to talk and is quick with funny, quirky one-liners that make adults laugh. He follows the rules, even if he scoffs them at home.

I know he will do "fine."

The tears are more for me than him, anyway.

After FIFTEEN years of busyness: working out of the home and coordinating childcare, having my office at home and shuffling meetings, dealing with doctor appointments, preschool parties, playdates, everything.... It all just... ENDS.

When you're busy with babies, toddlers and preschoolers, the days feel like they may never end. Crazy mornings stretch into long afternoons with bedtimes that can't come soon enough. You can't even think straight through all the chaos. You wish for a day without clinging kids, or at least just a little quiet. 

And then you get it. 

And you realize, even if you don't want to go back to those hectic days, even though this is a good thing, those days are gone. You can't wish them back. 

I know this.

So, I have to dry my tears and get ready for this new chapter. The one where I'm the mother to only Big Kids.

Wedding Day Wish: 1,000 Origami Cranes

There is an ancient Japanese legend that promises a wish will be granted by a crane to anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes. Dana and Pat folded a thousand cranes for their wedding day. These paper cranes decorated the ceremony and reception, roped as garland, on tables, at place cards and in bottles. They even presented one to each of their parents during the wedding ceremony. 

And they made their their wish. They wished for a happy, healthy marriage.

Brianne & Steve | Wedding

It's the height of summer and the middle of the busy season for weddings. This is just a quick peek at what I'm working on now:

Anna & Atit | Wedding

Sometimes, it can feel like wedding festivities go on for days. And when you have two religions to honor, the wedding really CAN go on for days.

Anna and Atit's Catholic wedding ceremony still showed signs of the Hindu wedding ceremony that took place several days before, while definitely having elements of it's own. The combined effect was beautiful, meaningful and personal.

Engagement Session | Governor Nelson State Park

Most wedding couples opt to do an engagement session before their big day. We love being able to do engagement sessions, as it allows us to get to know the couple better. We see how they interact together and in front of the camera. We also get to learn more about them, as a couple. We find out if they are reserved or playful, outgoing or a little shy. They will often tell us if they are nervous about being photographed and this gives us the chance to show them that the process of a portrait session is a lot easier than they think!

Nicolas and Laura picked Governor Nelson State Park as their location for their engagement session. The 422-acre Wisconsin state park in Waunakee sits on the shore of Lake Mendota, across from downtown Madison. 

Parenting Is Exhausting: Lessons From Home

Just when you get one problem figured out- or even before that problem is fully taken care of- the next one comes at you, stealing your attention and robbing your sleep.

Being a parent means life is always filled with chaos and messes, both big and small.

Recently we were on vacation when my daughter had several seizures, which is a heart-wrenching experience for a mother to witness. This started a round of hospital visits. Monday afternoon we finished up an MRI and EEG, done for the purpose of diagnosing Lydia with epilepsy. It felt like a relief to have jumped that hurdle and for us to be able to move forward.

But no sooner had I gotten messages out to family that we would have to wait several days for the final test results than the next thing happened.

The burgers were not even off the grill for dinner Monday night when panicked screams came from Henry in the backyard. He had fallen from a swing and broke his arm, snapping both the ulna and radius forearm bones. He had to be sedated for the doctor to set the bones and put on a cast, with the warning that he may still need surgery for the arm to heal correctly.

So, Monday had me sitting in hospitals for nine hours, first with Lydia and then Henry.

You try to be a good parent. You want to sacrifice a part of yourself to protect your kids. You dream of putting your kids in a magic bubble to keep them safe.

You try to not make the same mistakes twice. You try to teach your kids the lessons you had to learn the hard way. You want to make life easier for them.

As parents, we freeze. We stop living. We think that if we can do this or control that, we’ll keep the bad stuff away, our family will be safe and happy. But the only thing it really does is keep us from truly being happy ourselves.

And, like all parents, I am reminded that I can’t stop life from happening. My youngest will go off to kindergarten this fall, whether I want him to or not. My oldest will be taking driver's ed as she gets ready to get her license, even if I'm not ready for her to drive.

Things happen. Things change. Wounds heal, pain goes away, life goes on.

You realize there is never a good time. There is never a time when you can count on everything being calm.

And if I try to make things easy or think I can stop my kids from hurting, life will step in to remind me I’m not in charge. It’s not up to me. I can’t control life.

You can’t wait for the right time for things because it never comes. There is not a perfect time. You can’t hope to keep things easy or neat. There is not a magic bubble.

Life is messy. And hard. You can’t protect your kids from everything.

And the real kicker is: They don’t even want you to.

I can’t prevent my kids from ever feeling pain. No one can. And we all need to embrace that.

Living in fear of the next big disaster only stops us from living. We have to move forward even if it’s with just the hope that everything will be okay, that it works out in the end.

We owe it to our kids, to ourselves.

So I hug my babies and keep them close while I can.

I tell them I love them.

And I promise myself I’ll catch up on sleep later.